Is it true that you, not once, not twice, but 3 times called my Client a HO?

Christmas has come and gone. So has New Years eve. Along with these fabulous Holidays come New Year’s Resolutions and the fond recollections from the year that has ended. Enjoy these pictures of my year!

SA Idols: The most exciting thing I’ve done since I finished my Drama Honours. Filled with amazing memories and people:) 10 points!

Seeing Tyronasaurus Rex! Who is obviously having trouble adjusting to the time change. Welcome home TJ!

Kite Flying! I have a more bad-ass 2 string kite now but no photo’s just yet.

Discovering things one has kept for years and having a good laugh!

Getting my awesome new Epiphone Guitar!

Learning that Xylitol, while being a fabulous alternative sugar, when used in large quantities (like, for instance, baking a “healthy” birthday cake containing no sugar or wheat for my health-conscious brother) has an almost instant laxative effect

Going to things with friends and catching them in funny poses!

Meeting extraordinary people who do extraordinary things out of the goodness of their hearts, something that seems to happen less and less these days.

Doing stuff with my mom, because she’s just plain awesome!

Knowing friends who have pants that are the exact same shade of redReceiving amazing gifts from my friends and family that just prove how well they know me and hoping that my gifts to them brought them to the same conclusions

And, at the end of the day/year, knowing that my peeps have got my back, but will nonetheless kill me for calling them my peeps:) Because even MY friends have standards!

Happy New Year world and may it bring everything you hope for and more!

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Learning To Take Pictures (And not just make them up)

This is not a wordy post. I recently came across a very awesome picture blog which you yourself can visit here:

http://catfights.tumblr.com/

 

Seeing this awesome array of images led me to find a similar camera effects app on my Samsung Galaxy Tab (punt punt punt – and it’s not just because they gave me free stuff, I have always been a fan of Samsung)  and my SS Phone thing. So I found an app called Retrocam which I find just adds an edge to some pictures and as a result I bring you MANY PICTURES!!! The first lot are of one of my favourite books called “The Eleventh Hour”.

Then here we have me having fun with picture taking. Yes, several are the same because I was testing the different camera effects. It’s almost Ironic how we spend years developing technology to reproduce life in HD and then design apps to make our HD photo’s look old and imperfect. Enjoy the pics:)

 

Until next time!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are you Ready for the Zombie Apocalypse?!?

Well…are you?

The other night I was having a drink at Cliffy’s Pub with my friends Nick, Ashton and Gareth when the conversation got onto the zombie Apocalypse, as it does, and whether we would be prepared for it. In all honesty, I raised the topic because of a dream I had had a few nights before. In the dream I had woken up to find that the whole world had turned into Zombie hell, much the same way as it does in Night of the Living Dead, Shaun of the Dead, Resident Evil (without Milla Jovovich and the whole Corporate conspiracy thing) and 28 Days Later. 

Because of this dream, over the days following, I found myself thinking “What would I do if this dream became a reality and I really did wake up one morning to find the world in the grips of zombification?”

I considered a couple of different options such as:

 Locking myself in my house and going into stealth mode.

This can result in loneliness and usually ends in death by zombie anyway.

Getting into my good ol’ Olive (car) (her name is Olive) and driving and driving and driving and driving. This results in needing to stop for petrol. It also means having to find supplies in “abandoned” stores and so on which usually results in death by zombie as well. Zombieland favoured the driving around option.

I even considered the idea of just running into the zombies and getting it over and done with. It is, after all, the inevitable result of any action or non-action.

I have a bit of info about African witchcraft and raising zombies as slaves to do evil biddings and stuff like that. I even did my Drama Honours research paper on Supernatural representation in ipi Zombie and Macbeth. The zombies I refer to have nothing to do with individuals of whatever persuasion, raising the dead to do their bidding. I base my knowledge purely in the classic Hollywood representation of these misunderstood creatures. Therefore, to assess where “non-survivors” go wrong we should consider what they do. I have covered 2 “fails” already (driving a lot and staying at home). Another popular bad-approach is the hero-style zombie-slayer. The person who goes bat-shit-crazy-zombie-killer. This person is usually a bit of a gun-toting maniac to begin with and the opportunity for maximum destruction without fear of lawful penalties tends to push them just far enough over the edge to forget everything sensible their mother tried to teach them when they were a child. They usually end up looking a bit like this:

They are usually insufferable characters who you kind of wish would get eaten and then inevitably end up dead too. Actually I’m being a bit harsh, they usually end up with a 50/50 chance. They will either survive because they have launched a freaking nuclear warhead into the middle of the zombie-zone or they will be the one who gets bitten and hides it until someone notices the fact that the flesh is falling off their face. And then chaos ensues when they infect 5 other people who all then have to die. Thank you Rambo wannabe’s for spoiling it for everyone.

We also know, thanks to Hollywood, that the staple diet of zombies is Brains. Why? Who freaking knows.

Maybe it’s because it looks like Cauliflower? You know what? I’m not even going to try and explain this one. I will look it up on Wikipedia and get back to you.

One thing is understood through all of this: You have to survive longer than the zombies. All the zombies have to be dead and gone before people can consider living safely. The question is: how does one survive long enough? I decided that the perfect thing to do, if one has the resources, would be to hide underground. Literally. If one was paranoid enough (which I may very well become), one could build an underground bunker, kind of like in Blast from the Past when they have 30 years worth of supplies. This is quite hectic. I’m kind of hoping for a couple of months at most. The faster the zombies convert the living (both human and animal alike) the faster their food source will be depleted.

This may not be the most optimistic view but it’s a thought…

Ultimately, the only way to outlast the zombies is to be out of their reach so that they can’t eat me.

See how happy the sun is? It fully supports beating the zombies. So the underground bunker is a great idea because they can’t see you there, however, the chances of having a handy bunker in the back garden are pretty much nil. The chances of having a giant tree house full of stuff is also pretty much a big fat no too.

Apart from actively planning for the zombie apocalypse, neither of these options is really helpful. But it was a nice thought all the same. The conversation around the drinks with my friends turned into contingency planning. We had discussed the ideals and now we had to come up with a strategy, A-Team style. So we pooled a couple of ideas:

Plan 1: The Mall

I had the fabulous idea that the mall would be a great place to hole up and fend off the zombies.

Why?

1: It has everything one could possibly need to survive. At least a couple years worth of canned goods and bottled water, camping gear, houseware, clothes, stuff to use as weapons.

2: There must be a shower in there somewhere, worst comes to worst we could just build one from all the stuff at Game and the camping shops.

3: The main doors have massive security grates.

4: There is a lot of space so survivors can come aplenty.

5: Our Mall, while being quite large, is quite a lot smaller than most other malls AND is all on one level, making it a lot easier to defend.

6: It is an intersection away from several car dealerships and a petrol station.

These are all very handy. Downfalls however are that it is still a large space with many back access doors. So we would probably have to blockade one specific shop, like Pick ‘n Pay, and then stockpile it with stuff from other shops. This is risky but could be done. It is not ideal but it’s what I had.

So plan number 2 that got presented by Ashton was to hole up at Makro. Makro is a very good option, probably better that the mall. Why?

1: Makro is a wholesaler and most of their stock is pre-packaged in large quantities making it much easier to stock up on stuff if we need to run.

2: It is smaller than the mall but still exceptionally big and it has less windows and entrances making it MUCH easier to defend.

3: It has many of the same benefits of the mall but in a smaller, more concentrated and more manageable area.

4: It’s in a less populated area and not in the CBD meaning a better chance of fewer zombies.

5: All camping, food, living necessities.

The only thing I don’t like about Makro is how far away it is from the Highway, alternative transportation and fuel. However, this can be countered by good planning.

Plan 3 kind of rounds back to something from earlier: the driving and driving and driving option. Now, don’t get me wrong, I think it draws a lot of attention to be the only fast moving object, more than likely drawing much attention BUT the idea of continually moving has it’s merits. Firstly, always ALWAYS choose a massive truck for the following reasons:

1: It can carry large amounts of supplies at once so if you DO get stuck somewhere you’ll be sorted for a while at least.

2: Actually fill it with supplies, try Makro (see plan 2).

3: Keeping moving means that the zombies can’t catch up. However, it also means driving towards other zombies. Be smart.

4: It is, in essence, a GIGANTIC weapon. And you can play music in it. And see the country. Hell, take a road trip, it won’t actually cost you any money, you can just loot along the way!

The problem with trucking is that you can not outrun the zombies because there will be others in different cities and if you run out of petrol or break down it causes issues. you could probably just hop out and take another from all the abandoned cars on the highways (thank you cinema-land for assuming that there will be so many cars lying around) but then you have to move all your supplies.

The four of us discussed these options at length, I think up to 2 hours worth of the evening was devoted to this brainstorming session. And then we had it. I don’t remember who said it, but it was brilliant.

A BOAT!!! How could we not have thought of it before? We could take a couple of trucks, load them up with stuff from Makro and then drive them down to the harbour and load them up onto a freighter! LOADS of space, and all we would have to do is go far enough off shore for the zombies to not get us. We couldn’t run out of fuel because we could anchor out there and only come in if necessary to get more supplies! And we would be able to watch what was happening on shore and see how bad the zombie apocalypse was. We made a rule, everyone has and is responsible for their own ablutions bucket. Everyone’s a grown up and chips in. We even went so far as considering the option of using one Shore trip to bring back earth and fertilizer and start planting crops on the deck.

With our contingency plan all sorted and our list of stuff to bring along mostly thought out, I have not dreamt of the zombie apocalypse again. The cosmos has done it’s work and I am READY.

Are you?

Back home feels…odd…but awesome!

Hello people who have condoned me enough to read my blog! It has been a while, far too long in fact! I kind of fell off the radar with the Idols schedule and even more so as I went on “retreat”. So I have had to revise this blog post as it was originally intended to be published before my elimination. I have kept it mostly intact with most changes happening in the tenses and then adding a bit on the end:) So hear it goes:

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (This is a ululation of excitement.)

I made it to the top freaking 8 …twice…! How freaking awesome! When I went for the auditions in February (thinking that if I didn’t make it through the audition, the Barnyard was having auditions the following Thursday) I never imagined that I would get so far:) The reality of having actually been there, on SA Idols, still hasn’t sunk in! I don’t know if the reality ever will! I’d like to start this post by saying a massive THANK YOU! to everyone who supported me. Without you I would never have gotten so far! So this is for you!!!:

Okay, so it’s been about 2 months since my last post and a whooooooole lot has happened! To be honest it all went so quickly that most of it is a fuzzy blur! (Kind of like a “memory” or “dream sequence” on a Soap Opera).

So here are a couple of highlights:

I got to stay in an amazing house which looks something like this:

It was originally in my previous post but I took it off because I thought they were going to do a thing about us living there but they didn’t really. So toughies. Also in the previous post was this picture I took of the Idols mascots who live at the house:

OKAY! Now that that’s taken care of we can continue! So the last few weeks of my Idols journey were kind of crazy! The highlights include that we took a trip to Ford to go and work on the designs for our cars! Each of the top 10 got to draw a design for the Ford Fiesta that the winner receives as part of their 1st prize. In addition to the winner getting a Fiesta, 1 lucky voter will win one as well! And it will be sporting the car design of the runner up! So in preparation for this eventuality we went and sat with the Graphic Artists who made digital mock-ups of each design. We were even given a poster of our car designs. It was pretty damn cool! This is what mine kinda woulda looked like:

I think it’s cool that we got to keep our posters:)

So, on one of the elimination days we were informed that we would be meeting the Belgian Minister President, Yves Leterme (Compliments of Wikipedia. I hope it’s right. He looked different in person to the picture on Wikipedia. If I am incorrect and I find out I will make an apology and a correction.) And now, looking at some other stuff on Google, he is also referred to as “Caretaker Prime Minister” of Belgium. Either way, he’s an important guy! We didn’t know what to expect, probably because none of us have really met with a foreign delegate of such importance. After his security force had sussed out The Mosaiek we proceeded to give him a kind of concert, each of us performing our song from Friday night. He seemed to enjoy it very much and after we’d finished he came up onto the stage to chat with us. He greeted each of us in turn and shook our hands and we all introduced ourselves. He chatted to me for a while about the competition and I found him to be a very pleasant man. I don’t know if my tone is too informal but I don’t know how else to put it. He was smiling at everyone and was exceptionally nice. It was an absolute pleasure to meet him:) Before he arrived we were joking that maybe he would bring us Belgian Chocolate (because …well… Belgian Chocolate = Yes.) and he actually did! They had brought two boxes of amazing Belgian Chocolate! It’s funny how Belgian Chocolate from Belgium tastes better than Belgian Chocolate from South Africa…

They really were amazing. This is NO exaggeration. So yes, that was our meeting with Minister President Yves Leterme of Belgium. One of the producers of the show told me there is actually a picture of him chatting with me in the Belgian papers. How cool is that? So, not that he will ever read this but still, a big Thank You to Minister President Leterme for meeting us, we hope you enjoyed your stay in South Africa 🙂

So those last few weeks on the show were pretty rough from a performance perspective. I had a bad run of performances, 2 weeks in a row! Some people would say I’ve had 3 bad weeks but personally I disagree, based on how I’ve felt about my performances. I think my performance of Outkast’s “Hey Ya” didn’t go very well. From my side I can say I know when it feels good and when it doesn’t. I expected to be in the bottom 3 with “Hey Ya” and was very surprised when I wasn’t. I think a lot of voters were backing me for trying to step out of my box and try something different. This is speculation on my part! It’s always hard to try and figure out what people do and don’t like because there are always a lot of mixed responses on Facebook and Twitter.

After “Hey Ya” was my Home Bru week performance of “Fine Again” by Saron Gas (Now Seether). It was, I think, my worst performance. A combination of, possibly, a bad song choice on my part (although a lot of people loved the choice) and the flu that was doing the rounds at the house. I know my sister and several of my supporters made a point of mentioning this on my fan page but I was not the only one who had been hit with it so I didn’t want it to be a voting factor. Either way, my performance was not great and it was reflected by me being in the bottom 2. I know a lot of people were upset that Phaksy was the one who had to sing for his life and not me. To be perfectly honest I was just as surprised as they were. I have great respect for Phaksy and while I was glad to have another chance, I was very sad to see him leave. In the house we all grew very close and we supported each other but we also knew that the inevitability of this show is that all but 2 will leave. It still doesn’t make it any easier to say goodbye.

After my 2 bad weeks came R&B week and I chose the song “Halo” by Beyonce. With this choice I felt the grey clouds lifting. All week long I felt amazing! I even decided to go back to my roots and play guitar. When I walked out onto that stage I felt calm, I felt like I could take over the world! (With OR without a Tank). I put everything I had into the song and it felt so good! I remember standing up after finishing and my cheeks were aching because I was smiling so much. Whether it was good enough was a different story, but I knew I had given it my all and THAT is what felt so good. And then the judges comments came. Please observe the illustration:

It sucked. I walked off the stage and couldn’t stop the tears from leaking out. I was trying my best not to cry but I couldn’t stop some of them from squeezing themselves out. Why did their comments get me so badly? Because I had felt the song, I had felt it so much and because I hadn’t made them feel it too I was disappointed with myself. Despite the Judges comments I got amazing feedback. The audience at Mosaiek seemed to like the performance and they boo-ed the Judges comments. After Sunday’s show I had many many messages telling me that they loved the performance.

Then came the results show on Tuesday and the viewers opinion was evident. I was safe. I was out of the bottom 3 and I was safe! So despite the judges not feeling my performance, a good portion of the voting public did. I can’t tell you how happy I was! And then the real twist came. Kelly was at the bottom. Her performance of Rock with You by Michael Jackson had received the least votes and she had to sing for her life. As contestants on the show we don’t only listen to what the judges said about us, we listened to what they said about everyone. We knew that if Kelly was ever at the bottom that the judges would save her, so I’m afraid it was no surprise to us when Gareth told them to stop the music. Several people, journo’s and fans alike, have asked both Dene’ and myself how we felt about Kelly getting saved and, I suppose, if we harboured any resentment. We have both kind of brushed this question aside for several different reasons. My first is that Kelly did not save herself. It was the judges choice to save her, she did not ask for it. My second reason is: what use are What If?‘s? Who’s to say what might have happened if they hadn’t saved her?

The week after Kelly’s save was Choir round. This is the one that I personally felt I was the least secure on. I didn’t know the song, I didn’t choose it. I’ve seen a lot of people discussing the circumstances of the choir round and the things I read made me very unhappy. There were people making fun of the choir, saying that they obviously chose songs that the choir knew and that’s why our choices were the way they were. There were people saying that some contestants obviously had preference because they had better songs than others. Here is what actually happened:

At the end of Sun City we were all asked to write down 2 choir song choices. If they were appropriate, 1 of our suggestions would be used. If neither were going to work they were going to choose for us. This is what happened to a couple of us. Our suggestions weren’t going to work. So essentially, we did choose our songs, but we chose badly so they chose better songs for us. Why? Because the choir had to learn the songs that we had chosen. I think, out of the 8 songs they had to perform for choir round, they new 2. And it takes time to learn 3-6 part harmonies.

So, I’m not going to go into it at length, but I was surprised that the judges liked my choir song so much. I think Randall was the most honest, saying that I couldn’t afford to have a bad week. I think that was him trying to say it wasn’t that great, but in a nice way…

Either way, it bombed. I knew as I was watching it along with the rest of the country that Sunday night, that I was more than likely going home. On Tuesday while we were getting ready for the show Dene’ and myself were chatting (the way we all do) and she asked me who I thought was going home. And I told her, very nicely, very calmly – I even said I wasn’t saying it to be mean, it was based on a gut feel and what I’d been reading on the social networks – that I thought it was going to her and myself going out tonight. I wasn’t really sure whether I should have said it or not but she took it like she knew it herself already. Usually when people asked me that I give them the “don’t worry, everything is going to be fine” speech. But Dene’ is my friend and like a younger sister and I wanted her to be ready, just in case. She is one of the most amazing people I have ever met and she better not forget to stay in touch otherwise I’m going to have to send her threatening letters in the mail!

Woooah! Excuse the lighting in this photo! It looked a lot better on my phone! Okay, so that’s all I’m going to give you for now!!! There will be more exciting tales of what I’ve been doing since I’ve been home (possibly before the end of the week even!) soon!

Thanks for reading! Love and cookies y’all!

My Journey with SA Idols Season 7

The Road to Idols has been long and arduous and it all started in my home province KZN. Yup, I auditioned and that is a long story.

If you want to see how I did at my audition check out:

http://dstv.com/mnet/idolsSA/Video/Play.aspx?vid=4526&AdCategoryId=0

Durban managed to take 30 of the coveted Golden Tickets to Sun City for theatre week, including Ballito’s Jess Solimene.

She rocks! For those of you who aren’t aware, Jess is a phenomenal  musician.

If you’d like to check out some of her stuff try this:

I hear a likeness to Juliette Lewis in her voice, but not quite as barbaric, more refined. Jess also has several other videos on Youtube so go nuts!

Us Durbanites, or KZN-ites really (I’m a Maritzburger myself) flew up to Sun City for Theatre (a.k.a. Hell) Week where we met all the other Golden Ticketers from across the country.

From Johannesburg Airport on it was a flood of people, names, faces, 80% of which I couldn’t remember if I sat for days on end. The worst part was that I didn’t even meet so many of them. Everything happened so fast that sometimes I wonder if some of it happened at all.

After a bus ride from the airport to Sun City itself there was a long period of admin, the stuff that goes on behind the scenes is sometimes more intense than that you actually get to see. What you don’t see is the amount of work, time and admin that goes on to make this show run smoothly.

We were paired with roommates for the night and were sent off to “chill” before dinner. I got lucky with my first roommate who was Khanya (a fellow KZN-er and, as I understand, a fellow Maritzburger too).

Just so you know, no Khanya was not moving around like a Banshee on speed, the camera on my phone just doesn’t work that well at night. Either way I think this photo is awesome because I feel like it captures her true essence!

After dinner we were each (all 96 of us) assigned a 10 minute slot with a vocal coach to give us a little guidance in how to be ready for the first challenge of Theatre Week. Acapella pop song. Acapella is not such a problem. The real challenge comes from trying to find a pop song that isn’t so overloaded with electronica that there aren’t long gaps of no words that you then have to try and skip over. (I’m just exaggerating. Sometimes they have real instruments in them too.) Some contestants were still going for their time slots after 11pm. Respect guys. I got lucky with 10:30. It’s not so great when you have to get up at 5:30 to be ready for breakfast at 6:30. We had a pretty hectic time regime but we dealt.

The next day was the challenge and we were all freaking out just a little bit. To be perfectly honest I wasn’t feeling totally confident. I hadn’t even really settled on a song choice yet. I was going to go with either Halo by Beyonce or Take a Bow by Rihanna. Either way I wasn’t totally sold on them and was beginning to freak out. But then the most amazing thing happened! (Those of you who watched the show will know this already)

In the theatre we were divided into 2 groups. The one group had received 3 Judge votes while the other had received 4. Then I think I kind of blacked out for a moment from disbelief. All contestants who had received 4 votes had immunity and were exempt from the challenge. I think I was actually waiting for them to tell us they were just kidding. I have never been so grateful for something so random as getting 4 votes in my life before.

While the other group faced one of the most annoying challenges, the rest of us went to The Palace for tea and pastries. Victory tastes sweet dear bloggies. I had my first taste of Darjeeling tea and now I’m a tea snob:)

Unfortunately, sooner rather than later, our tea time was over and we had to go back to the “real world” of the competition. We were reunited with the survivors of the first round a bit later in the afternoon. The judges had been Ruthless…(with a capital R) and we were down to 60 contestants. There were rumours that the next round would probably be a group number and that rumour rang true as we were given an option of 10-ish songs to a) choose from and b) find a group who wanted to do the same song with.

Well, people were bouncing from groups of friends to groups of strangers trying to establish a working combo of people and song. Well I was wandering around trying to find a new group after swapping twice already when I stumbled across Jean-Pierre (from Polokwane) who wanted to do Fat Bottom Girls by Queen. Well, that was my first choice of song so we teamed up and went on the hunt. Somehow (and I honestly don’t remember exactly how it happened) but we got Dene’ Vorster (from Jozi). Now, although we were now a complete group, we had yet to decide on a song that we were all keen on and it seemed that none of us wanted to step up to the decision plate. We kind of chose Need You Now by Lady Antebellum but none of us were really enthusiastic about it. We spoke to our vocal coach and he gave us the lyrics for Fat Bottom Girls as well to look over.

During the time between then and our vocal coaching Dene’ listened to Fat Bottom Girls and said she wanted to do it. I was mostly concerned that she’d never heard it before and I thought it was unfair of us to ask her to learn a brand new song overnight. However, my concerns were unfounded. Dene’ picked the melody up in 2 minutes and from then on we were rocking on like a dream. We rehearsed until about 11 that night before Dene’ and I insisted it was time to call it a night. Jean-Pierre wanted to carry on but (from my years in performance) I know that sometimes a tired body needs rest to allow what it has learnt to sink in. so we resumed our rehearsals in the morning.

What I remember the most of that day is how, after we finished rehearsing and after I had had a shower, when I got into bed my feet started throbbing. we had pretty much been on our feet from about 7 that morning. It was about 15 minutes before they had stopped throbbing enough for me to not notice them that much any more.

The next day flew by so quickly I can barely remember what happened. All I know is that we seemed to get through it unscathed. I’m sorry I’m not being very elaborate here but I truly don’t remember much of that day. I do remember the part where the camera crew came into our room at 6 am while we were still asleep. That sucked. I still had another half hour to sleep. To see the group performance check out this link: http://dstv.com/mnet/idolsSA/Video/Play.aspx?vid=5941&AdCategoryId=0

After the performances we were left to wait in a room while they made their decisions and came to inform us. Long story short I made it through to the top 33.

The next challenge was a massive surprise and definitely the coolest challenge. We were told we would be performing with The Parlotones!!! I really, really love the Parlotones. They are top of my SA Band list. And then came the pulling the names out of the hat. We would be choosing our songs by pulling them out of a hat and as I stuck my hand in the drum I was holding my breath. There was only one song I really wanted to do. As I pulled out that slip of paper I think my heart stopped beating.

I got it. The one song I wanted to do above all others. I used to play this song in my car at full volume pretending I was singing it with The Parlotones to a packed stadium. Well, Sun City wasn’t a packed Stadium but I think that the fact I got to sing the lead with The Parlotones more than made up for that.

I can’t begin to describe how amazing it felt. While I was singing it I didn’t think about anything else. Not the competition, not the judges, nothing. I was totally in the moment. A dream of mine came true that night. What more can one ask for? I think that just then, I didn’t really care if that’s where it ended. That’s how awesome it was:) To see it (yes another link) go to: http://dstv.com/mnet/idolsSA/Video/Play.aspx?vid=5985&AdCategoryId=0

Also take a look at: http://dstv.com/mnet/idolsSA/Video/Play.aspx?vid=6180&AdCategoryId=0

because they’re just so damn freaking awesome!

It’s amazing how dreams work. You can wonder when your life is going to really start (even if it’s up to you to do it) and wonder how you are going to achieve those things that you crave when SUDDENLY, they just kick into action. I got 2 dreams in 2 days. I sang with The Parlotones and in the all day elimination extravaganza I made it into the top15!!! I went up there trying not to get excited. I was scared that I was being too sure of myself. I’m not trying to be arrogant, I’m trying to be as honest as possible. I felt like my performances were getting better and better. I felt like Giant Mistake was the pinnacle of my Idols experience so far. I walked into the “Chamber of Judgement” and sat down. Gareth asked me how I thought I did. I couldn’t help the massive grin on my face. I told him I thought I’d done well. He said nothing so I continued and said something like I could be wrong. And I don’t remember what else he said but all I heard was that I’d made the top 15.  I may not have jumped up and down and screamed or cried but inside all my innards were doing a little dance:)

So that’s it for the moment!!! Watch this space!

The “Tank” Song

The song here accompanies the previous post on taking over the world. It was written with great love and care one night sometime last year at Cliffy’s Pub in Lincoln Meade, Pietermaritzburg by my lovely friend Charl Landsberg and myself. We were under no influences other than a possible sugar rush at the time. Thank you Charl for documenting this event and e-mailing it to me:)

It even has chords for those of you who wish to attempt the foolish task of playing it.

If I only had a Tank – by Charl Landsberg and Erin Fourie

(To the tune of If I only had a brain from The Wizard of Oz)

G                                     Em

We could take over the land and it would be so grand

G

And invade first Nash-nal Bank

C                                                  D

We could swear Kaballah’s honour and be just like Madonna

G

If we only had a tank

We could open up a drive through for poetry and Haiku

To educate the ranks

To offer education to our growing little nation

If we only had a tank

C                                   G

Oh they would have to pay

Am         D            G

While they’re shaking in their boots

Am                                          Em

Run over anyone who tries to shoot

C                             D

And then we’ll wave and give a hoot

Feed you coffee, keep you wired, being happy is required

No matter how life stank

We’ll be into meditation and some sexual recreation

If we only had a tank

[Last coda : rendered rudely as

“Meditation, Medication and some casual masturbation / If we only had a tank]

There are many ways to take on the world. I choose a Tank.

The other night I attended the birthday party of my friend Sita, unfortunately this is not about her. Sorry Sita! This is about an idea I revived at the birthday party whilst mingling with the other guests.

Sita, like myself, is bent on world domination. While Sita has a more aggressive “I shall enslave them all” approach I, long ago, decided to take a more …personal approach. This is how it works:

Step 1:          Borrow money from Dad

Step 2:          Buy a Tank

This is a traditional tank

So now that the financial backing has been acquired and the investment has been invested in, it is time to pay back the debts.

Step 3:          Rob a bank to pay back the loan (because the last thing I want is my dad to come and take my Tank away

because I haven’t settled my debt

Good/Bad

Please note that these are not true visual representations. My dad doesn’t dress like this.

He would never show off his midriff in such a provocative manner. Nor do I wear a blue dress…not everyday anyway. It was just the colour in my palette:)  ANYWAY, the next step is where things get really AWESOME!

Step 4:          Customise! (In true Tank Girl style!)

Pimp Yo' Tank!

I cannot take credit for the sundeck and deckchair. I was inspired by the film Tank Girl (rock on!). However I have considered removing the deckchair and replacing it with a giant high heel shoe akin to that in the Aussie film:            Priscilla Queen of the Desert.

Don’t forget to name your tank so that it feels like part of the family. I name mine: Tank.

Now that the legwork has been done, the loans repaid and the tank acquired and pimped out it is time to take over the world.
“But how?” I hear you ask. Quite simply:

ONE PERSON AT A TIME

So what's it going to be? "Yes" or "Splat" ?

First post in a new blog.

So, this is my first post in wordpress. I may cheat and copy my old posts from myspace, just so they’re all in one place…

I have these weird spasms sometimes...

This is My face

Anyway, this is really just to say Hi, keep watching this space, I’m figuring it out (I’m not very technologically advanced so bear with me) and I promise you won’t be toooo disappointed…I hope.

For the sake of not fooling you into believing I’m something that I’m not here is what you can expect from this blog:

  1. A lot of lists. I Love making lists, especially with bullet points…
  2. Random spurts of out of nowhere-ness simply because I’m not very diligent about being up-to-date (although, be warned, I will do my very best to be better this time)
  3. A Good deal of swearing
  4. A fair bit of ranting about the various states of things
  5. Other Stuff too
So that’s me! Have a zippidy doo dah day!!! (lol)

It does coffee

I haven't found a bigger one yet